SEPTEMBER 2, 2007

This Monday is Labor Day, and our St. John of God School begins on Tuesday (our St. Catherine students began last week at their respective schools.) The following "Teachers' Lament" covers both events admirably:

"Let me see if I got this right, sayeth the Teacher:
You want me to go into that room with all those kids and fill their every waking moment with a love for learning. I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, behaviorally modify disruptive behavior and observe them for signs of abuse. I am to fight the war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check their backpacks for guns and raise their self-esteem. I'm to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play; how and where to register to vote; how to balance a checkbook and how to apply for a job.

I am to check their heads occasionally for lice; maintain a safe environment; recognize signs of potential antisocial behavior; offer advice; encourage respect for the cultural diversity of others and gender equality.

I'm required by my contract to be working on my own time summer and evenings at my own expense toward advance certification and a masters degree; and after school, I am to attend committee and faculty meetings and participate in staff development training to maintain my employment status.

I am to be a paragon of virtue, larger than life, such that my very presence will awe my students into being obedient and respectful of authority. I am to pledge allegiance to supporting family values and a return to the basics.

I am to incorporate technology into the learning and monitor all Web sites while providing a personal relationship with each student. I am to decide who might be potentially dangerous and/or liable to commit crimes in school or who is possibly being abused, and I can be sent to jail for not menioning these suspicions.

I am to make all students pass the state and federally mandated testing and all classes, whether or not they attend school on a regular basis or complete any of the work assigned. Plus, I am expected to make sure that all of the students with handicaps are guaranteed a free and equal education, regardless of their mental or physical handicap. I am to communicate frequently with each student's parent by letter, phone, newsletter and grade card.

I'm to do all of this with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few books, a bulletin board, a 45 minute prep period and a big smile. All on a starting salary that qualifies my family for food stamps in many states. And you want me to do all of this and expect me NOT TO PRAY?"

(God bless our Teachers, our Students, and all Workers.)