St. John of God Parish| St. John of God Parish |
| 1011 CHURCH AVENUE - MCKEES ROCKS, PA 15136 412-771-5646 |
|
Fr. Lou Vallone |
MAY 13, 2007
It has become legendary the big deal I make about Mothers' Day every May. But some think
it is a little too sentimental. To balance it off, here is a tribute to Mothers with a
bit of humor to it.
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet. My mother taught me about CONSEQUENCES: "If you get hurt, I'll kill you!" My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why." My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about." My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!" My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there till all that spinach is finished." My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room." My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?" My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't exaggerate!!!" My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION "Stop acting like your father!" My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!" THANKS, MOM! |